20 years of excellence in law enforcement

Today is my anniversary. I have been on the job 20 years, which means that, unless I go out and commit a felony, I could quit tomorrow and when I turn 50 I'll collect a pension of 50% of whatever my top pay is. Until I die, and then MizBubs gets it until she dies. For every year I hang on beyond this, I get an extra 2.5% until I max out at 75% at 30 years.

Thank Jeebus for the civil service.

Who would ever have thought this whole cop thing would have worked out so well for me?