“I am so excited to meet you! You are so courageous and fun…I bet you
would just jump out of an airplane if you could. Do you hope to skydive someday?”
I wish someone had snapped a quick Instagram of my face the
day in November a woman said this to me.
I met her in a local retail store and she reads my blog. She had a distinct impression that I am
someone of risk. I do hope I portray
joy…fun…living out loud…but I honestly do not know why she thought I would sky
dive. Anyone who really knows me, knows
that I am a CHICKEN! I do not like speed
or heights or any activity associated with speed and heights. I respect those whose bucket lists include
skydiving and speed racing…not me.
There are many things I would like to do in my lifetime…but
by comparison to other lists, I am really boring. However, I thought I would confess one
today. My struggle with weight has
really been over a lifetime. When I decided
to take care of myself at age fifty, part of that journey was learning to
accept my body and dress it as it existed.
I learned the fundamentals of fashion so that I actually looked smaller
than the scales read and learned to look in the mirror as I was… and be
pleased.
Because eating disorders became such a problem a few years
ago, the media began to send messages of body image acceptance no matter our
size. Full figured women became models
and plus-size bloggers gained audiences.
I have lived in the plus size world for many, many years and I was
thrilled to see all of this happen. I
still believe it is important for all of us to accept and love who we are
today…right now…this minute.
So, is it bad or
hypocritical that I would like to know what it is like to be smaller??
Does it make me someone to worry about?
I don't want to be a stick, but perhaps go from my size 16 to a
12 or a 10?? Yes, I will tell you that I am working out for my health. That is a huge part of it…but I am also
working out because I desire just for a time, to be able to wear smaller
clothes!
There I said it…it's out there. I believe I have a balanced perspective of the issue. However, it would give me such joy to finally
have the extra weight gone. I am working
on it slowly and the journey is more consistent than it has been in a long
time. Hopefully, I will get there.
Now, seriously, does it make you think less of me? For some reason, I have been hesitant to confess to anyone that I wanted to lose weight...for more than just health reasons. I guess the implication is that I do not believe you can look great in your clothes as a plus size. That is not truth...because I believe you can look fabulous at any size. But, this is a personal wish, and a personal one only. I really want to believe I conquered the beast!
Does anyone else have this on your bucket list? Please join in the conversation and have a
wonderful, warm Saturday!
This is part of a Saturday blog hop with Midlife Boulevard...just click HERE!
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